I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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