they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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