Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just want to make out with him forever
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize