Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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