How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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