I'm really into asian looking animals
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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