She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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