i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
