I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
