is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
