Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Duck Duck Cougar?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
