We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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