I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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