every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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