sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
