I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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