You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
