I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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