well I can't set my house on fire every night
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
