oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
