it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
