Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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