Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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