so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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