would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
