New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
