So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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