I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
