she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
