I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
