dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
