if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
