Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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