fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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