he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize