did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
