then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
