We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
