Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize