At least make sure they are 18
Why
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
