...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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