I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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