Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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