Got a toothbrush?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize