It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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