I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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