When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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