I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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