i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
