If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
