yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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