his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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