and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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