If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
