i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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